Choosing your next step
Do you ever find yourself replaying decisions from your past, wishing you could rewrite the story? It’s easy for our minds to fixate on the paths we didn’t take, the doors that closed, or the moments that feel like they’ve determined everything about our present. “I missed my chance, and now it’s too late.” “I shouldn’t have made that decision back then; look where it’s left me.” “I don’t deserve to move forward because of mistakes I’ve made.” We often forget that life isn’t a rigid script but a collection of moments, choices, and lessons. When we look back, it’s tempting to connect the dots in a way that feels final—as if every decision we made was written in ink, unchangeable. But in truth, most choices were made with the best knowledge we had at the time. And while it’s easy to dwell on the paths that didn’t pan out, there’s something equally powerful about the paths still open to us. Maybe some paths are closed—and that’s okay. It’s true: not every door stays open forever. Some dreams, goals, or ambitions might no longer fit the life you’re living now. And that’s perfectly okay. In fact, it can be freeing to acknowledge this reality. Author Chris Guillbeau once shared the idea of celebrating closed doors. While society often celebrates stories of people achieving their dreams later in life—like Samuel L. Jackson landing his breakthrough role at 46—it’s important to recognise that not every aspiration follows that trajectory. Some paths do have deadlines. And holding onto an outdated dream can sometimes keep us from fully embracing what’s next. Maybe you’ve been telling yourself, “One day, I’ll run a marathon,” even though you despise running. Or perhaps you’ve been holding onto the hope of writing a cookbook, even though cooking no longer excites you. Letting go of these paths isn’t a failure—it’s a chance to clear the way for something better aligned with who you are today. While it’s healthy to accept that some paths might be closed, it’s equally important to remember that many others are wide open. As Bertrand Russell wisely said, “You’re under no obligation to be who you were five minutes ago.” Just because one path is no longer an option doesn’t mean you’ve run out of choices. In fact, letting go of old goals can create space for new ones. Imagine how much lighter you’d feel if you stopped regretting the past and instead focused on the possibilities ahead. Whether it’s starting a new hobby, taking a class, or shifting your career, the future isn’t set in stone. It’s shaped by the actions you take today. Choosing your next step So, where do you go from here? Start by celebrating the doors that have closed. Each one taught you something, even if it wasn’t the lesson you expected. Then, take a moment to look at the paths still open to you. What excites you? What feels meaningful now—not 10 years ago, but today? Whatever it is, remember that progress doesn’t require perfection. It just requires one step forward. Some paths may no longer be an option, but others are waiting for you to take them. The question is: Which one will you choose?
Curious, not critical
When was the last time you gave yourself the grace to be curious? To pause and ask why, instead of immediately leaping to judgment? In a world that moves fast—where we’re bombarded by expectations, comparisons, and decisions—curiosity is often overshadowed by criticism. But what if we could flip the script? What if curiosity became our default setting, especially when it comes to our relationship with money and life? Here’s the problem with criticism: criticism is quick. It jumps to conclusions. It sees what’s wrong and amplifies it. Whether we’re criticising ourselves for not saving enough, not being a better parent, or not understanding things as well as we think we should, that voice in our head can be harsh. It points out every misstep, every perceived failure, and every gap in our financial knowledge. And it’s not just self-criticism. We can be quick to criticise others, too. Perhaps you’ve judged a partner for overspending, a friend for being overly frugal, or a colleague for their seemingly extravagant lifestyle. Criticism creates distance—it builds walls instead of bridges. But here’s the thing: criticism doesn’t fix anything. It keeps us stuck in a cycle of blame and shame, making it nearly impossible to move forward with clarity or purpose. Curiosity, on the other hand, invites understanding. It pauses, leans in, and asks: Why? Why did I make that decision? Why does my partner approach money this way? Why does this particular financial situation make me feel uneasy? When we approach life—and money—from a place of curiosity, we shift from judgment to exploration. Instead of berating yourself for overspending last month, you might ask: What was going on for me emotionally? Was I stressed, celebrating, or seeking comfort? Instead of criticising a loved one for their financial choices, you might ask: What values or experiences might be influencing their behaviour? This shift isn’t about excusing poor decisions or ignoring hard truths. It’s about creating the space to understand those decisions and truths on a deeper level. And when we understand, we can make changes—thoughtful, intentional changes that align with our values and goals. Curiosity in action Curiosity can transform how we approach financial planning. For example: Instead of saying, “I’m terrible with money,” try asking, “What’s one small thing I can learn or improve today?” Instead of thinking, “I’ll never get out of debt,” ask, “What’s the first step I can take to change this?” Instead of assuming, “My partner just doesn’t care about saving,” consider asking, “What does financial security mean to them?” This mindset shift can also extend to our conversations with advisors, mentors, and even our families. A curious approach fosters collaboration and openness, paving the way for better communication and more effective problem-solving. From criticism to connection Choosing curiosity over criticism isn’t always easy—it requires slowing down, being present, and letting go of the need to be right. But the rewards are profound. Curiosity doesn’t just improve our financial habits; it strengthens our relationships, builds self-compassion, and helps us navigate life’s challenges with grace. So the next time you find yourself in a critical spiral—whether it’s about money, work, or life in general—pause. Take a breath. And ask a simple, powerful question: Why? You might be surprised by the answers that follow. In the end, creating space to be curious isn’t just about improving our financial well-being; it’s about nurturing a mindset that sees opportunities for growth and connection in every moment. And that, perhaps, is the most valuable investment of all.
Authenticity or attachment
Why do we say yes when we mean no? Why do we say no when deep down we wish we could say yes? These are questions that dig beneath the surface of our everyday choices, revealing the deeper, often hidden stories we tell ourselves. In his insightful discussions, Dr. Gabor Maté highlights a core conflict many of us experience: we prioritise attachment over authenticity. Whether it’s in our relationships, careers, or even financial decisions, we often avoid being true to ourselves out of fear—fear of rejection, fear of judgment, or fear of losing connection. But at what cost? Why we struggle with authenticity At its heart, the struggle between authenticity and attachment is a universal human dilemma. From an early age, we’re conditioned to seek approval and fit in. This often leads to patterns of saying yes to things that don’t serve us, or no to opportunities that could bring growth, all in an effort to maintain connection or avoid conflict. For example, imagine a friend asking you to lend them money. Deep down, you may feel uncomfortable—perhaps you’ve been burned in the past, or maybe you simply can’t afford to say yes right now. Yet, instead of honouring your boundaries, you agree, worried that saying no might damage the relationship. In that moment, attachment wins over authenticity, and while the relationship might seem intact on the surface, resentment can quietly take root. The financial stories we tell ourselves This internal tug-of-war isn’t limited to our personal relationships; it shows up in our financial lives, too. Think about the stories you tell yourself when making spending decisions. Are you buying the luxury car because it aligns with your values, or because you feel pressured to keep up with those around you? Are you saying yes to another family vacation because you truly want to go, or because you fear disappointing your loved ones? Our financial behaviours often reflect deeper emotional needs—needs for acceptance, security, or self-worth. But when we act out of alignment with our true values, we not only jeopardise our financial goals but also lose sight of what truly matters to us. The courage to choose authenticity Choosing authenticity over attachment doesn’t mean abandoning connection or becoming rigid in your boundaries. It means finding a balance where your yes and no come from a place of honesty and alignment with your values. This shift requires self-awareness and the courage to confront the stories you’ve been telling yourself about who you need to be to belong. Financially, this could look like rethinking your spending habits and asking, “Does this purchase align with my long-term goals, or am I trying to impress others?” It might involve having honest conversations with family members about holiday spending, choosing to prioritise savings over gifts, or setting boundaries when loved ones ask for financial support. Living the truth of both yes and no Authenticity doesn’t mean always saying no, just as attachment doesn’t always mean saying yes. It’s about being deliberate with your decisions and understanding the underlying motivations driving them. This practice can create a sense of empowerment—not just in your financial life but in every aspect of your well-being. Dr. Maté reminds us that authenticity is not about isolating ourselves; it’s about showing up as we truly are, without fear or apology. When we let go of the need for constant approval, we open the door to deeper, more meaningful relationships and a financial life that reflects our true values.
Roadblocks and reflections
Life is full of roadblocks. They come in many forms: an unexpected expense, a career setback, a strained relationship, or even just a sense of stagnation. At first glance, these challenges can feel overwhelming, frustrating, and even unfair. But what if we stopped seeing roadblocks as something meant to halt our progress and instead viewed them as opportunities to pause, reflect, and redirect? Every obstacle we encounter forces us to ask important questions: Am I on the right path? Am I pursuing what truly matters? What is this roadblock trying to teach me? Often, the roadblocks that seem to hold us back are the very catalysts for growth we need to move forward—but only if we’re willing to reflect on them with an open mind. Are You Reacting or Reflecting? When we hit a roadblock, our first instinct is often to react. We rush to fix the problem or find a way around it as quickly as possible. But reacting without reflection can lead us down the same unproductive path, over and over again. Albert Einstein famously said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” To truly overcome challenges, we need to step back, gain perspective, and reconsider our approach. Financially, this might look like an unexpected expense throwing your budget into chaos. Do you simply patch the hole with a quick fix, like taking on high-interest debt? Or do you use the moment as a chance to evaluate your spending habits and build an emergency fund? Reflection transforms a short-term inconvenience into a long-term improvement. The Gift of Perspective Roadblocks often highlight areas of our lives that need attention. Maybe a career setback reveals that we’ve been ignoring our true passions. Or perhaps an unexpected financial hurdle reminds us of the importance of saving and planning for the future. These challenges, while uncomfortable, offer valuable perspective. They encourage us to focus not just on where we are, but on where we truly want to go. Take a moment to think about the last time you faced a roadblock. How did it make you feel? More importantly, what did it teach you? Reflection doesn’t just help us solve problems; it helps us understand ourselves better. It helps us identify patterns in our behaviour and make intentional choices to break free from them. Turning Roadblocks into Stepping Stones The key to turning a roadblock into a stepping stone lies in our mindset. It’s about seeing challenges not as failures, but as opportunities to grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient. This doesn’t mean the process will be easy—growth rarely is. But by embracing roadblocks as part of our journey, rather than interruptions to it, we allow ourselves to keep moving forward with purpose. In financial planning, this mindset shift is particularly powerful. A bad investment, an unexpected job loss, or a period of market volatility can feel like insurmountable obstacles. But each of these moments offers a chance to reassess, realign, and rebuild. Maybe it’s time to revisit your budget, diversify your investments, or reevaluate your long-term goals. Reflection doesn’t just help you navigate challenges—it helps you emerge from them stronger and more focused than before. Roadblocks will always be part of life, but they don’t have to define it. With reflection, they can become the stepping stones that lead you toward a more intentional, purpose-driven future. The road ahead may not always be smooth, but with the right mindset, it will always be worth travelling.
Dealing with loss when everyone else is celebrating
Holidays and special occasions often bring with them the joy of celebration, the warmth of shared moments, and the comfort of togetherness. Yet, for many, they also highlight the quiet ache of loss. Whether it’s the empty chair at the dinner table, the sting of a recent job loss, or the ongoing battle with a serious illness, these moments can magnify pain that is otherwise neatly tucked away in the everyday busyness of life. Dr. Susan David’s words resonate deeply: “When we move from sympathy to empathy to compassion, we bring action to our intention. Being action-oriented doesn’t mean rushing in to fix. It can be holding space. Allowing for pain. Choosing to actively see. Instead of standing across the person in pain, we stand with them.” Turning toward, not away, applies not only to how we support others but also to how we navigate our own pain and challenges, especially during times of emotional or financial stress. The inclination to avoid or ignore the difficult aspects of our lives is natural. Yet, true resilience is built when we face those challenges head-on with compassion and purpose, and this holds true when it comes to financial planning as well. Consider the emotional and financial strain of losing a job. The initial instinct may be to shut down, to avoid facing the realities of altered finances and uncertain futures. However, turning towards the situation means acknowledging the immediate pain, understanding the new financial landscape, and beginning to map out a way forward. This doesn’t mean fixing everything at once; it could mean reaching out to a financial planner for guidance, seeking emotional support from loved ones, or giving oneself permission to pause and regroup. The same is true for other life-altering situations, such as dealing with a serious illness or grieving the loss of a loved one. These moments often come with unexpected expenses, shifts in financial priorities, and emotional upheaval that can cloud decision-making. During these times, financial planning might seem secondary, but it’s essential. It’s not just about numbers; it’s about creating a sense of security that allows space for healing. Empathy in action is acknowledging that it’s okay not to have all the answers immediately. Financial planners can play an invaluable role by holding space for clients, not just as professionals guiding numbers on a spreadsheet, but as partners who stand with them in their time of need. This approach transforms financial planning from a transactional service to a relationship built on trust and compassion. It’s about helping people make informed choices, even when faced with life’s greatest uncertainties. As we approach these special seasons that can stir both joy and sorrow, let’s remind ourselves that financial planning is not solely about wealth accumulation. It’s about creating a life that holds space for all of our experiences—the good, the bad, and everything in between. It’s about having a plan that adapts when life doesn’t go as planned and knowing that we have the support we need to navigate whatever comes our way. So, this season, whether you are celebrating or simply making it through, remember that turning towards your situation with empathy and compassion—both for yourself and those around you—can be the first step toward healing, stability, and a more secure tomorrow.
Echo chambers and our money
Have you ever noticed how a conversation with people who share your views can make you feel more strongly about what you already believe? Legal scholar Cass Sunstein captured this phenomenon perfectly when he observed, “What we know is if you get groups of like-minded people together, they tend to end up thinking a more extreme version of what they thought before they started to talk.” This observation isn’t just about politics or social issues – it’s particularly relevant to how we think about and plan our finances. Think about your own financial circle for a moment. Who do you talk to about money? Your colleagues who share similar salaries and lifestyles? Friends who have the same investment approach? Family members, who passed down their money beliefs to you? While these conversations feel comfortable, they might be creating an echo chamber that reinforces existing beliefs and biases rather than challenging them. Consider Natalie, a successful professional who was convinced that property was the only worthwhile investment because everyone in her social circle was a property investor. It wasn’t until she encountered a diverse financial planning team that she realised she’d been viewing her financial future through a narrow lens. By opening herself to different perspectives, she discovered a world of opportunities she hadn’t previously considered. The danger of financial echo chambers is that they can lead to: Overlooking potential opportunities Dismissing valid risks Reinforcing unhealthy money habits Missing out on innovative financial strategies Failing to adapt to changing circumstances But here’s the good news: we can break free from these echo chambers. Here’s how: Seek Out Diverse Perspectives Just as a healthy diet requires various nutrients, a healthy financial mindset needs diverse inputs. This might mean reading different financial authors, following varied experts, or engaging with people who have different approaches to money. Challenge Your Assumptions When was the last time you questioned your fundamental beliefs about money? Maybe you believe “property always goes up” or “the stock market is too risky.” Where did these beliefs come from? Are they still serving you well? Embrace Constructive Disagreement Sometimes, the most valuable financial advice comes from someone who disagrees with us. Instead of dismissing contrary views, try to understand them. What insights might they offer? Questions we can’t answer are often far healthier for us than answers we can’t question. Work with a Financial Planner A good financial planner doesn’t just echo what you want to hear. We bring diverse expertise and perspectives, challenging your assumptions when necessary while supporting your goals. Consider Cultural and Generational Perspectives Different cultures and generations often have varying approaches to money. These differences aren’t right or wrong – they’re opportunities to learn and adapt our own financial strategies. Question the Crowd Just because “everyone” is investing in cryptocurrency or buying rental properties doesn’t mean it’s right for your situation. Sometimes, the wisest financial moves aren’t the most popular ones. Remember, the goal isn’t to abandon your financial beliefs entirely, but to enrich them with diverse perspectives. It’s easy to get caught in echo chambers, actively seeking balanced financial advice might be one of the most important investments you can make. After all, the best financial decisions often come not from confirming what we already believe, but from being open to what we might learn from others.
A worldview shaped by ‘enough’
Wherever people are involved… it’s not uncommon for conflict to arise—whether with loved ones, colleagues, or even within ourselves. At the heart of many of these conflicts lies a common thread: a worldview shaped by scarcity. We may think that conflicts are purely situational, stemming from disagreements or unmet expectations, but more often than not, they go deeper. They reveal a story of feeling like we don’t have enough, aren’t enough, or aren’t receiving enough. Scarcity, in this context, is more than just a lack of resources—it’s a mindset. It’s a subtle, pervasive belief that there isn’t enough to go around. This belief can shape how we think about time, money, love, and success. It fuels the fear that we must compete for limited resources, leaving us feeling anxious, defensive, or even combative. When we look at money behaviours, we often find that scarcity thinking plays a significant role. Scarcity might manifest as the fear of never having enough savings, leading to overly restrictive budgeting or, conversely, impulsive spending as a way to feel temporarily abundant. Or perhaps it’s the persistent worry that our investment strategy won’t measure up, leading us to make erratic decisions based on fear rather than logic. The problem with this scarcity worldview is that it doesn’t just impact our wallets; it spills over into our relationships, work, and overall well-being. When we’re operating from a place of scarcity, every disagreement or unexpected financial challenge feels like a personal threat. The result? We react with fear, frustration, or defensiveness, further deepening the cycle of conflict. So, what if we dared to shift our perspective and embrace an abundance mindset? What if, instead of focusing on what we lack, we celebrated what we have and trusted that more will come our way? While it might sound overly simplistic, too spiritual or even idealistic, shifting to an abundance worldview can radically change how we interact with money, and consequently, how we engage with life. An abundance mindset invites us to see opportunities where we once saw limitations. It’s not just about believing there’s enough money, time, or love in the world; it’s about trusting that we are enough. When we truly believe that we have the resources, resilience, and worth to face life’s challenges, the way we approach financial planning, relationships, and goals shift. Adopting this new mindset doesn’t eliminate fear entirely—fear is a natural human emotion—but it helps us approach it differently. Instead of letting fear dictate our choices, we acknowledge it, understand its roots, and choose to act from a place of trust and clarity. This way, fear becomes a signal for growth rather than a barrier to it. In practical terms, adopting an abundance worldview might mean being more intentional with how we manage our finances. It might involve setting realistic, value-driven financial goals rather than chasing arbitrary milestones. It could mean openly communicating with a partner about shared financial aspirations, framing conversations around what you can achieve together rather than what you might fall short of. The scarcity mindset thrives on comparison, insecurity, and a relentless pursuit of ‘more.’ But when we choose abundance, we choose to acknowledge that what we have is enough, that who we are is enough, and that life itself is abundant in opportunities to grow, connect, and thrive. Next time a financial worry arises or a conflict brews, take a pause and ask: Am I approaching this from a place of scarcity or abundance? The answer may just change how you navigate not only your financial journey but also your life.
Different is as different does
Albert Einstein is often credited with saying, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Think about that for a moment. It’s a statement that cuts through the noise and forces us to ask: If we’re stuck in a cycle with our money, how can we possibly expect things to change if we aren’t willing to do something different? Many of us find ourselves on repeat when it comes to our financial habits. Maybe it’s the persistent debt that never seems to go away. Or the savings plan we’ve been meaning to start but never quite get around to. Maybe it’s overspending in the same areas, month after month, even when we know it’s not aligned with our long-term goals. But here’s the thing: the same mindset and actions that led to these problems can’t be the ones that solve them. The Trap of Financial Routines We are creatures of habit. Whether it’s swiping our card at the café every morning or putting off that budgeting session, we tend to stick to routines—even when those routines aren’t serving us. We fall into these financial patterns because they’re comfortable, even if they lead us into more debt or prevent us from reaching our goals. The truth is, repeating the same financial habits over and over will lead to the same results. It’s like walking the same path in the forest and expecting it to take you to a different destination. It’s not going to happen. If you want to change your financial future, you need to take a different path. New Thinking, New Actions, New Outcomes Albert Einstein also said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” So if the choices that led to our current financial situation won’t get us out of it, what will? Get Real with Your Goals: Start by identifying what you want your financial outcome to be. Be specific. Are you trying to get out of debt? Build an emergency fund? Save for a big purchase or invest for your future? Pinning down your “why” will give you a purpose, something tangible to work toward. Once your goals are clear, you’ll be able to map out the different actions required to get there. Acknowledge Your Patterns: Take a moment to reflect on your current financial habits. What are you doing that’s keeping you in the same cycle? Are you avoiding budgeting because it feels restrictive? Are you relying on credit cards to cover lifestyle expenses? Be brutally honest with yourself, because only when you see the full picture can you begin to shift it. Do One Thing Differently: You don’t have to overhaul your entire financial life overnight. Big changes often start with small actions. Maybe it’s setting up an automatic transfer into your savings account every payday. Maybe it’s cutting out a recurring expense that doesn’t bring value. Or maybe it’s finally sitting down and making a realistic budget. Choose one thing to change, and follow through. Hope Isn’t a Strategy One of the most dangerous things we can do with our money is to hope for the best without actively changing our behaviours. Hope without action is just wishful thinking. If you’ve been carrying debt for years, you can’t just hope it will disappear while continuing to spend in the same way. If you’ve been meaning to save for a rainy day, you can’t expect it to happen without setting up a system that makes it possible. Instead of relying on hope, rely on action. Every time you change a habit—even a small one—you create a ripple effect. And over time, those ripples add up to real, meaningful change. The Power of Accountability Change is hard. That’s why it’s so important to have accountability along the way. Whether it’s a trusted friend, family member, or financial advisor, having someone to check in with you and encourage your new choices can make all the difference. It’s like having a guide who helps you stay on that new path when the old one starts calling you back. Break the Cycle You’re not going to smash your debt or save for your dream future by doing the same things you’ve always done. The path to financial freedom and success requires different thinking, different habits, and different actions. So, the next time you find yourself stuck, ask yourself: “Am I repeating the same habit and expecting a different result?” If the answer is yes, it’s time to break the cycle. Change doesn’t happen by accident; it happens by intention. And by doing something different today, you’ll be one step closer to the financial future you’ve been dreaming of.
The EI edge
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to effortlessly manage their finances while others struggle, despite having similar incomes or financial knowledge? The answer might lie not in their bank accounts, but in their hearts and minds. While financial literacy is undoubtedly important, there’s another crucial factor at play that often goes overlooked: emotional intelligence (EI). As Darwin Nelson and Gary Low astutely observed in 2011, “Emotional intelligence is the single most important influencing variable in personal achievement, career success, leadership, and life satisfaction.” But what does emotional intelligence have to do with money, you might ask? Well, as it turns out, everything. Think about the last time you made a significant financial decision. Maybe it was a big purchase, an investment, or even deciding whether to splurge on a night out. What emotions were swirling around in your mind? Excitement? Fear? Guilt? Pride? Our financial choices are often driven by these underlying emotions, whether we realize it or not. Emotional intelligence is about recognising, understanding, and managing these emotions effectively. When it comes to money, this skill can be transformative. It’s the difference between impulse buying to soothe stress and recognising that stress, then finding healthier ways to cope. It’s the ability to stay calm and rational during market volatility rather than panic-selling at the worst possible moment. But the impact of emotional intelligence on our financial lives goes far beyond individual decisions. It shapes our entire relationship with money and, by extension, our sense of personal achievement and life satisfaction. Consider this: When we make financial choices aligned with our deepest values and long-term goals, we’re not just managing money – we’re crafting a life that feels genuinely fulfilling. This alignment requires a high degree of self-awareness and self-management, both key components of emotional intelligence. Moreover, the link between emotional intelligence and leadership isn’t limited to the corporate world. Being financially savvy with high EI makes you a leader in your own life and often within your family or community. You become the person others turn to for sound financial advice, not just because you understand numbers, but because you understand people. So, how can we cultivate this powerful combination of financial literacy and emotional intelligence? Here are a few strategies to consider: Practice mindfulness: Before making financial decisions, pause and check in with your emotions. Are you acting out of fear, greed, or authentic desire? Identify your money scripts: We all have underlying beliefs about money, often formed in childhood. Recognising these can help you understand your financial behaviours better. Set emotionally-connected goals: Instead of just saying “I want to save more,” dig deeper. What emotions are driving that desire? Security? Freedom? Understanding the emotional roots of your financial goals can help you stay motivated. Develop empathy: Understanding others’ perspectives can be invaluable in financial negotiations, whether it’s asking for a raise or discussing budget with a partner. Celebrate progress, not perfection: Acknowledge your financial wins, no matter how small. This positive reinforcement can build confidence and motivation. Remember, the journey to financial well-being is as much about mastering your emotions as it is about mastering your money. By developing your emotional intelligence alongside your financial literacy, you’re not just working towards a healthier bank balance – you’re paving the way for greater personal achievement, stronger leadership skills, and a more satisfying life overall. So, the next time you sit down to review your finances, don’t just look at the numbers. Take a moment to check in with your heart as well. After all, true wealth isn’t just about what’s in your wallet – it’s about creating a life rich in purpose, connection, and fulfilment. And that, is where emotional intelligence truly shines.
Calm needn’t be the focus
We often think that financial peace or calm is the ultimate goal when it comes to managing our money. We hear phrases like “financial peace of mind” or “calming the storm of debt” and we think, “Yes, that’s what I want. I just want everything to be calm.” And while there’s nothing wrong with seeking calm, it’s not the point. The real goal? Connection. Connection with our money, our values, our goals—and yes, with the people who matter to us. Because, in truth, calm is temporary. Life isn’t static, and neither is our financial journey. There will always be waves: market shifts, unexpected expenses, changes in personal circumstances. Calm comes and goes, but connection remains. This idea of connection is vital, especially when we consider how we feel, behave, and talk about money. If calm is all we seek, we might be misaligning our aim. Here’s why connection is the deeper goal: Feelings: Money and our emotions are intertwined Think of how we feel about money on a daily basis. Sometimes, it’s fear. Sometimes, it’s joy. Other times, it’s anxiety or excitement. While financial calm might help to manage our emotional highs and lows, connection asks a different question: What are these feelings really telling me? Feeling connected to your money means understanding the emotions behind your financial decisions. When you buy something, what are you really purchasing? When you save, in what are you truly investing? Are you securing safety, or are you postponing a dream? Emotions like fear, joy, and even guilt are signals about our deeper relationship with money. If we can get curious about them, instead of just calming them down, we get closer to understanding what really drives us. Connection to our feelings helps us make better, more aligned financial decisions. Behaviors: Money habits reflect who we are Our behaviour with money often reflects more than just a desire for financial calm. It’s about the story we tell ourselves about who we are, and how we move through the world. When we aim to be connected to our money, rather than just keeping it stable, we are asking deeper questions like: What do I really want from my life? This level of introspection guides not just the saving and spending decisions but also how we plan for the future, give to others, and invest in experiences. It’s less about doing what will “calm” you and more about doing what will “connect” you to your purpose, your values, and the people in your life. Conversations: More than just calming money talk Many of us avoid talking about money because it disrupts the calm in our relationships. But avoidance often leads to disconnection. Instead, we need to have connected conversations about money, not just ones aimed at preserving peace. Talking about money with a spouse, partner, or even a trusted advisor shouldn’t be about avoiding discomfort. It should be about connecting around shared goals, being honest about fears, and working together to build a financial future that makes sense for everyone involved. Real conversations about money build trust, transparency, and deeper bonds, even if they’re uncomfortable at first. They help us stay connected with each other, rather than just trying to calm things down and sweep money worries under the rug. Calm is not the point. Sure, we all want moments of financial peace. But in a world where things are constantly changing, aiming for calm might be a short-term win. Long-term success lies in connection—being connected to what matters most when it comes to money: your values, your emotions, your goals, and your relationships. When you stop focusing solely on keeping the financial waters still and start working on staying connected, you’ll find that even when the waves come, you’re anchored to something deeper. And that’s where real financial resilience comes from—not from the calm, but from the strength of the connections you’ve built. So, the next time you think about your financial life, remember: connection is the point, and it will carry you through even when the calm is nowhere to be found.